Sunday, October 4, 2009

ISP - Orange Juice Of Your Child


before i go into the topic.....i have a small homework for the parents...(wife n husband)

both take a white paper...n complete the far as ur spouse goes

I feel very happy n loved when.........

if its u who is writing

I feel very happy n loved when he........

if its ur husband

I feel very happy n loved when she.........

be truthful n straighforward
dont hold any simple things..for eg whn he.caress my hair. he cooks, wh he hugs, he takes to a movie,whn he cleans the house, whn he gifts, go to sea beach/ surfing romantic things,holding hands without spking much..ila the list goes on..write how many u/he can

there are some children who are open..highly energetic...n some closed..low energetic n some with highself esteem n some with low esteem. whn the children have high self esteem their energy levels are more..thy become automatically lovable..n whn they have low self esteem they become irritated at home as well as outside

wht is happening in their case?

there are five areas/ different ways to express love....if u understand which is ur primary love language u/ spouse have..thn it will be easy to give it to ur children

1) quality time(physically n mentally present) iam talking to u..u are listening totally involved..n suddenly ur phone rings..u tend to hear on phone as well asa are u giving quality time? are we spending the same way with ur child/ spouse? are we spending 100% with child or spouse?
2) words of appreciation eg.i love the way u cook, u are looking ver nice, whn i back home n see u ..i feel happy, appreciate whn u really had hard day n ur husband appreciate u( u really maintained the party well)
3)Recieving/giving surprise gifts..even asmall rose.. a card... apen
4)Acts of service(errands) if he helps in cooking, cleaning the house, washing the car,
5) physical u like physically to be close/ can be from holding hands..lying on the lap/ sex

these are the 5 areas of love expression..... now wht ever u had written in the the mark against it which love expression was it

for eg.
whn he caress me---Physical touch(P)
whn he cooks food on weekend---acts of service(A)
whn he gives me a surprise on normal days(R)
whn he n i go for along walk--- quality time(Q)
whn he says u are beautiful...words of appreciation(W)

so In simple n Short Mark Q/W/R/A/P


once u mark u will come to know wht love lang he has/she has..n thn count which one is Q is more or W is more , A is more.....
this helps u to know wht is is his/ur Primary lang.....suppose out of 50 points u wrote..25 is W, 10 is A, 5 is on..thn it means the primary love lang is Quality time

inside every child there is an emotional parent to be filled..tht emotional part has to filled with love.... but unfortunately wht happens is u are speaking in english n iam speaking in u understand..NOOOOOOOOOOO.... so these love u to find out wht is ur n ur husband primary lang

this may change over a period of time...suppose whn u are maried Physical touch would be the primary love n later it would have become "W" if u do this execrcise u will find out wht lang u or he is in....once u understand..apply it conciously as u know wht he /she is expecting...this brings more happiness n understanding between both of u...once u know start applying this for one week n u will find lots of change

like suppose his primary lang is "A' n urs is "Q"..u have a clash..u want quality time n his is acts of insted u spending quality time try giving him acts of service..n he giving u Quality dicover amongst ur selves...n start expressing u will change ur married life into much more beautiful way thn wht it is now

Wht is the best gift u can give to ur child?(write down in 3 mins)
eg...silence, independence, love, confidence, quality time, happiness, happy parents, knowledge,unconditional love, child like, seva,enthusiasm, communication, selfesteem,education, values.....the list goes on isnt it?

if u want to conclude one thing which one would u give.....?
u can give UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.......but wht does it mean?

no expectations, no setting standards, be afriend, being child like.......

whn we say unconditional love between mother n father..wht does it mean?(child is seeing wht his/her mother n father is)
ideal like partner,QWARP

it takes a while for u to develop tht unconditional love with each wht are u going to do till thn ......attempt to communicate, TALK TALK TALK..dont expect other to talk......
elders do all this....but children cannot express in words....
so whn we say express the love to child how do u

a small HUg..child is happy..but child is not a very buubly how do we have a bubbly child?

this is where our topic of making orange juice of ur child...u would be doing this..some wouldnt..but once u know start playing this game with ur child everyday in the night

papa n mommy hugging with child in between....child in centre n parents on both side..n before sleeping tell him/hger tht we are making orange juice of u/or let us make orange juice of daddy/ orange jiuce of sueeze the person in centre.....u will have alot of laughter, happiness,fun....the child feels happy..funfilled, family security. love of parents

this u can call as sandwich game..tickling...

try to play this game every day...( the child must see mummy n daddy hugging..if not they will start withdrawing)
u will find energy switching in ur child.

u will see the child very happy n lively....make sure u are also child like whn u play.....

like if ur child is not brushing in the night..u can always use this game..ok iam brushing now n we will make sandwich of u...this will alert thm n thy look forward for this game..u can play this in the mornings..the child will feel a happy u can spend some quality time playing instead of watching telvision..or doing some other u toppling on each other...hugging..laughing....u need not talk anythingbeyond except play.......doing this put ur child to sleep for 10 mins..the child gets up next day with full energy.....U can see the result on SPOT

Courtesy: Rekha Satish


  1. Hi Rekha,
    Very nice article. You explained the magical words example really well. I especially liked yes/no, orange juice examples

  2. Hi rekha,
    Thanks a lot for giving a needful information.please help me by sending the whole material isp- the art of joyful parenting