Saturday, July 28, 2012

Sex Education for Kids - When and How

Was reading a book Ashtavakra by Yandamoori and came across this written piece and wanted to share with you guys..

There are too many myths/objections/suggestions as to sex education in India or maybe else where too... strangely in a nation where speaking about sex in public is considered grossly offensive/derogatory majority are sexual crimes and the population shoots sky high!! 

More than anything, it is curiosity that leads to queries about opposite gender.. it can happen as early as a toddler when they get to learn, understand and ask about everything and anything.. how do we answer, where do we begin is the biggest query a parent of today's might face and found a lovely input which I would replicate.

The way of inquisitiveness swamps the child at the age of 9 to 13.  He wants to know how things are made, stars, watches, babies, etc.  There are two questions linked up together - when to tell and what to tell? 

When a little girl for the first time sees the organ of her younger brother, it is very natural that she should ask what little strange thing is. But this is by no means a sexual question but rather a scientific question.  What to tell and where to stop depends on the age of the child.

- Oswald Schwarz on Sex Education

My views
Like this put in simple words here.. like that is an innocent question here as to what it is, we need not really get into a biology lecture to the kid but just explain them to the point, tell them without making any fuss about it and tell them it is their private part and that a boy/girl or a man/woman are made differently and it is their private part.  This conversations most likely happen in a bathroom setting when the kid is getting bathed or when they see the siblings or other kids of opposite gender, do not rush it up, hush it up.. answer it as coolly as possible and leave it at that.

Also I liked a quote by E.F. Griffith

As far as sex education goes, i see two main difficulties.  first, sexuality is more than pure biology and less than pure spirituality, but a unique combination of both ethics and aesthetics.  Religion must come under consideration and sex education must fit sex into the whole pattern of our life.  Can this be done?  How and by whom?

My views
I guess first as a parent we need to get rid of our own inhibitions talking or thinking about it and then proceed to tell the kid than to impact him/her knowingly or unknowingly.  Like say if we look back into our own lives and think for a while as to when our inquisitiveness began, how it was satisfied, when and how we got to know, it might in a way help understand our own kid's feelings towards things in general.  It is primarily the curiosity about the unknown and if it is answered properly, they would not really venture into other means of getting to know, which might not always be right, the influences there might be at that point, the barrier that we might create unknowingly about asking such questions would lead them to go ask others/friends/peers who are equally unaware or mis-informed on un-necessarily informed.  So, I personally think that a very open relationship, the trust to turn to the parents for anything and the feeling that they would not be ridiculed, scolded, hushed up should be built.

For a wholesome personality development, it is essentially that we provide answers or provide means to get answers by themselves when to do what is the key.

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