ISP - Self Esteem

SELF ESTEEM OF UR CHILD

we are talking about enhancing selfesteem of the child..before tht
wht do u understand by self esteem?

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self respect.....confidence...accepting urself.......taking pride in wht ever u do.......loving ur own self......being secure within oneself.......complete participation...

to say a fact..90% indians suffer from low selfesteem..whn u have such low selfesteem..wht are u transfering to ur child?.......

children grow n carry on same thing..right..so are thy building selfesteem?

how is it formed..or whn does it start building?

it is formed right from the birth....its the foundation...

just now analyse whts the reason for u having low selfesteem?

if u analyse u will find tht either people around u..give comments..u get affected/not affected or other factors..school/home/society/other environment..u have grown n started.. telling internal dialogues.

the foundation of developing self esteem is a combination of
1) who u are..
2) how u feel abt urself..
3) wht do u think abt ur future potential

how do we express ourselves..through the navarasas isn't...so how were the navarasas come out in ur child..how did u attend..this starts building the selfesteem...

As parents u are the most important people in ur babys world..u provide him with his first defination of himself..u tell him through ur every word, gesture n actions just how important he is n how is he percieved in the outside world

wht is the vision u had for urself..write only in five lines..wht ever u had?( in 4 mins

now write wht is the vision u have for ur child?( 5 mins..in five lines)
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for eg..i have written for my baby..tht he shuld be enthusiastic,strong, honest, lovable,wise,peaceful,visionary, n happy( this is wht i spoke in the first posts abut VISION)
this vison shuld be very clear for u to develop self esteem in ur child

now how do we build or break the self esteem in our child? list thm out separately in two different columns

how do we break?

saying NO....saying Don't.......comparing with others.....do's n dont's..not being honest..giving negative criticism..labelling the child(u are lazy)...telling lies......u cant do this, its difficult.....telling him at situations..u are old/young( setting standards)....
contradictions(eg.eat slow..n sometimes eat fast)..shouting.....hiding things( like habits..like smoking..drinking etc)..bribing(selfishness comes out....they dont take risk which is inborn talent...thy will do whn thy know thy they will achieve the bribe)...fear( if u dont do this u instill fear..tht if u wont eat lion will come....etc)

wht do u do whn u are irritated because of child?

u tell thm MUmmy is irritated..but dont blame thm..u express ur feelings but dont blame thm..so child gets signalled tht if i do this mom gets irritated..n thn he will not be made scape goat...

how do we build?
encouraging/inspiring....letting thm experience....allowing thm to perform( again we bring all the break points here..we compare.tell thm no..do like this etc.....see he did so well)...giving thm total trust......let thm fall, thy will learn

as said in earlier posts the child shuld be developed physically, emotionally, spiriytually, mentaly n socially...so how do we develop their self seteem in all these

Physical----sports, dance, exercise(let thm do as thy like..no dos n donts..let thm fail..thy will feel responsible, dont compare..boost their energies)

mentally-----chess, reading( read to thnm casually..thy will catch up), maths( every where u can develop..market...park..pick up pebbles..substraction ..additions etc easily taught), encyclopedia, computer, skills

socially---- natural discipline

emotionally--dram, music, art( whn ever ur child is disturbed ask him to draw it up..it lightens his heart/ make a white board n write grt news/something grt/spl today on it..whn ur child comes home ask him to write wht was something spl he did today..in this way positive qualites are developed..n thn whn day is over transfer it to some book n in aweek read all of thm ..it will feel him gud..even at home if he did gud thing write it..ask him to write himself..his conciousness will be aroused)

spiritually---teach thm to be responsible( wht does responsible mean....?stop the buck..stop blaming people for ur life or for ur child life including the school..once u stop balming ur child starts improving..u will allievate ur child from here whn u stop blaming)

Courtesy: Rekha Satish