wondering what is this?
before starting ...both of u partners( wife n husband) sit together n on a sheet of paper write down waht are the magical words used for children. Magical words means, these are the words which will definitely work on children no matter wht ever it is, it will work. for example SURPRISE. whn a child listens this word his/ her eyes sparkle and will listen to u for almost n anything. just brainstorm the words. for my knowledge n the words which we stormed during our session were:
SURPRISE, Lets have some fun,I will tell u a story( story makes the child senses alert), hmm lets have some magic/lets do some magic, do you want something new,Picnic, Idea( i got an idea), lets go and eat the curd from katori( they do always eat but whn u change the tone n say they will get charged), secret,Game, "Dont tell ".
Ihave few more but dont remember, i had written it somewhere.
now u have few words ...now let us see its application.
Secret:
now i will write a discussion between a child n both parents
child- namah
mother
father
situation: the mother is too upset as the child is not having medicine. she just gets irritated whenevr its time for medicine.
namah.its ur medicine time. now i dont want ur alltime stories. come fast n just have it. u are a bad girl if u wont have. want to be gud thn come n have n go ur medicine.
namah screaming to her voice" no mamma . i dont want..its yukkkkkkkkkkk"
father watches all this n calls namah
Namah come here i will tell u a secret.
SECRETTTTTTTTTTTT...oh papa tell me
see mama wants u to have medicine. lets fool her . take ur medicine in ur hand n tell " mom i will not have medicine. let today papa have it. n before mom i will act as if iam having it..but when mama turns back angrily u drink it off n say ...see i did not have medicine. thn mama will get more angry n we will kiss mama together. she will be happy."
OH nice secret papa
n the process repeats n namah really has her medicine n she forgets....
n the process repeats n namah really has her medicine n she forgets ith secret word she forgot n had her medicine.
n to say practically i have seen on my son . when he doesnt drink milk .. i say see mom is drinking secretly ur milk from ur sipper. he just sees for a while n snathes the snipper from me starts drinking.
so when ever u need to have something done..u can tell secrettime now n ............
but it so happens that the child gets bugged up n say ..i dont want ur stupi d secrets.. u tell all these n get the things done.. thn waht will u do?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so here comes the next magical word
I HAVE AN IDEA
I GOT AN IDEA
sonu i got an idea..do u want to listen?
see u dont want to have curd..ok dont have. what we will do is.. u go n close mamas eyes. i will bring curd from kitchen n keep in ur room . we will go n eat in ur room n mom will not know. when we both eat we will go and tell mom tht we did not eat..n make mom angry...she doesnt know that we ate curd...we will have a gud time making mom angry...hahaha.
This all shuld be in a playway method n talk to the child with lots of love n emotions.
basically its like a game we play with a child . both partners shuld take the active roles.
SURPRISE
chalo sonu today we will make papa surprise. what we will do is we will eat food early . and when dad comes we will tell papa Iam lots hungry...we will eat ..come soon. and when we sit near food we will keep food only for dad n say SURPRISE.
ONE...TWO...THREE
This particular mother had problem with her child. the child always used to pull hair of the girls n girls would scream Anand leave leave.... even teachers used to tell same.
anand felt he gets lots of attention like this n wouldnt leave. so the teacher felt..ok ANand we will play a game. when i say 123 u will leave their hair. n it worked.
this can be implemented even at food, geting him do his homework etc.
GAME
If ur child is not finishing reading...
Anu we will play a game now. bring ur textbook. we both will read. what ever words u knowu tell me the meaning n which u dont know i will tell. n we will give points. whoso ever wins will have a glass of milk. n we will write on our whiteboard .
u will see lots of difference whn we do this act.
Using ANIMAL Names/ new characters( hanuman/ spiderman/ barbie)
this particular child doesnt want to get her hair combed as she feels that it pains a lot
. so the mother said ok which hairstyle do u want..rabbit/ tiger. lion.....so on
so the girl got intrested n started getting her hair combed.
even we can use the Hanuman, spiderman to get the things done from the child.
but to remember ..it shuld involve fun. if u seriously say..i have a secret..they may tell keep ur secret to urself.. its all is how u make them Joy/enthusiastic/ fun/ excitement.
U can use all this words to get them ready to school, making thm get up early, making thm eat food.
PICNIC
u want to take ur child to a marriage but the child is reluctant to come. u can tell see we will go to picinc where u can see..so n so...u will see this food .... or shuld we take our lunch ..u want roti/ dosa....n so on.
when we do keep on trying all this things the intimacy will increase with the child.Be a child when u are with ur child
like chalo we will do masti/ gammat etc.... see ur child will surely listen to U
we will have some drama....
NOW I WANT U TO JOT DOWN WHAT ARE THE ITENARY U NEED TO FINISH BEFORE COMING TO SCHOOL
sleeping,brushing, potty,bath,schooldress,breakfast, combing,school bag, sending thm to the bus
HOw do u manage....like what are the methods/ solutions u apply, manage to get this things done.
1) face him the consequence.....
if ur child misses his/her Bus/ rickshaw/taxi take him /her to school by the public transport where u knowthe rush hours make the child feel its gud to go by my rickshaw/taxi/bus.
next time when they start getting late just announce..ok if u miss bus we are going by RTC bus.
2) make him understand the consequence
see all will get late n get punishment because of u..will it be gud?
3) brushing...
hey today is friday then we shall be using pink / blue colour brush?( keep 7 brushes at home)
4) bathing
which bath we will have? bubble bath/ just bath/ hair wash?
5) making them get up early
U tell to ur child
when u go to sleep birds too sleep early. but nobody wakes them up? so why shuld i wake u up?
hmm papa ok from tomorrow u tell me see birds woke up n are going i will wake up.
its different thing that if they say papa let it go n let me sleep
Courtesy: Rekha Satish
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