Kids and TV/Laptop

Yet another excerpt from the previous discussion is on the screen time and Laptop/ipad/computer - Internet time..

Kids as they grow older, they get to know new things from friends and TV ofcourse good/bad what ever . The curiosity which they have since childhood regarding many things remains the same... They want to know what is it...
 1) kids should never be allowed to use laptops or desktops in their rooms. They should be in the living rooms right from the beginning.
 2) there are many softwares in the market to block those sites and also help with the keyword search.
3) if they are on computers please keep communicating with them all the time making sure they are not diverting and if possible help them by being with them like if they are playing any games be with them encourage them or play with them etc.. If they are studying try to involve yourself with them leaving behind all your work.

Courtesy:  Sailaja C.

Teens and Pre-Teens Concerns

This is the excerpt of a discussion pre-teen and teen behavior and I love what this buddy had to say and agree totally with it.

Here it goes..

The bond what we make with our kids during baby time, toddler age , early school age is different......... if we think we had made an awesome bond and it will work for the whole life , we are fooling ourselves.

Pre teen is one more stage where a parent has to establish a new bond with the kid. I personally feel this is a very important stage for a parent and kid relationship.  We cannot ignore that at this time the uniqueness of that individual also starts forming ... kids start their own thinking patterns forming their own opinions...parent have to find a way where their and kids thoughts meet or if not meet then disagreeing peacefully ... at this a GAP may appear in terms of thoughts.........if care is not taken the GAP widens and the kids start drifting away mentally.

At this time a parent has to again make a palce in their lives... Talk talk talk with the kid as much as possible... and pls dont talk as if u r doing a job , a parent shd enjoy tlaking with the kid.. then only they open up..when we give them trust, we get it back too.

Sex is a very important issue...... we cannot simply say '' adi paapam, adi cheeykoodadu ''.. I have always shown sex as a natural thing to my kid.... we talk openely abt sex...he is free to ask me any Questions on the topic... being a parent we hv to give them proper answers which are close to reality and at the same time appropriate for their age.  At 11 there is nothing which they shldn't know honestly.. my son knows everything .... more than sex its the emotional changes which a parent shld not ignore...they experience the first feeling of love... if ur child comes to u and tlak abt his/ her interest then as a parent, you can pat ur back and think that u hv passed a small test in wining a small amount of trust.

Courtesy:  Sunita M.

Transition across continents...

A major concern for me was how the kid would adapt to the life in US, so different from hers in the village, a language altogether different, people a lot more different and the solitary life out here..

Language
The seemingly most toughest barrier of all...  In India, in urban areas, this is surely not a problem but for me a mom raising a kid in rural India with focus on speaking English it is all the more an uphill task.  Be it transitioning across the globe or otherwise, one should speak to the kind in all the languages possible... it is proven that the kids can soak in the information much well and can learn about 3 to 5 languages at a time, so emphasizing on mother tongue, one should certainly use others too and not repeat the mistake that I did.

Watching TV, everyone suggested this to me.

Talking to friends, teachers at school.. this way they learn the more and the quickest.

If you are particular about your kid talking in your mother tongue, then make sure that he/she speaks in the language and replies in the language.  They will have plenty of places to speak and learn English but your language is best spoken by you, so set that rule straight.  watch for the signs like if the kid is understanding what you speak but answering in English, make a conscious effort to get them to talk.

A few friends by experience have told us this and we notice that too, so it is strictly in Telugu at home for the kid and for us as well.. we teach her in English, explain in English at times but it is Telugu that we would like her to speak.

Daycare/Preschool
If you are in the states in the middle of year like me, it is going to be a bit tough... private day cares might still be having positions but affordable ones, in a lesser budget, like the church schools, it depends.  So figure out the distance, time, the ride/car-pool, payment and all and the best thing is to get the kid to the school, not just to learn or anything but to get used to the way things are, understand the concept of sharing, taking turns, learning pleasant manners and most importantly for the kid to be happy.

New Potty Habits
One more thing that was of concern to me is that the kid was new to the concept of wiping herself clean, washing her hands everything on her own, which is expected to be since she was already 3 and turning 4 shortly.  Being from India, it was always water for the bum, cleaning hands and feet afterwards but like everything else, the kids adapt faster to everything and touchwood, get going much faster than we adults.

Play Pattern With Other Kids
Being from the village, pampered to the core by everyone around her, the kid had a tough time sharing the toys, adjusting to the new kids with a different language (Tinglish) and she used to get cranky but once in school, things are a lot more easier.  I have learnt hard way that being aggressive in teaching them to be well mannered turns out counter-productive if we over do it, just go with the flow, make them understand with patience, introduce time-outs, cry-it-out-alone sessions, maybe but only to moderation.

I am still learning a lot of things from her, will put in more as and when time permits.

Strange/New Behaviors

There are times when kids just want to try something new and end up with something or the other and this I can say with my personal experience.  The kid had this habit of pulling out her tongue long right since birth and in fact that is how I saw her the first time, the pink tongue sticking out from a really cute and tiny kid.  It was really really cute at that point, something etched in my memory for ever and ever.. but as time went on whenever she did that I used to ask her not to do it.. it was around 3 months of age that she got back to that habit, sticking the tongue out and then putting it back in and then sticking it out. I really got scared and the crazy me even went to the nearest Nagendraswamy temple and left eggs there to satiate him :).. come to think of it now, it is funny but back it was really NOT.  I was annoyed, irritated seeing her do it again and again, felt she would get used to it and to a novice first-timer parent it was really really scary, I used to say, please nanna, even tried the mild hitting on the tongue with a finger when it came out.  It did work, she did not get it but it was at that age... after a while that habit surfaced again and even that finger strike did not help... this time I got even more panicked but thankfully found the solution pretty soon, IGNORE!!

when the kids do things like
**Sticking the tongue out.
**Pulling their hair.
**making water bubbles through mouth
**putting fingers, at times even whole hand into the mouth.

Gently remind them for a while not to do it, if the frequency increases, just understand they are doing it just to get your attention, so just ignore it and they will get right on their own.

However, with thumb sucking it is a different thing altogether.  If it is something which has started suddenly after 3 months or so, then see if the kid is feeling some insecurity or anxiety, too many changes in lifestyle, just missing you more or any other reason you could figure out, spend some more quality time with the kid, assure that you are there for them through soothing words, etc. and most of the times, they do stop.

Do not make a big issue of it, shout, scold, lose patience at any point, especially with regard to new behaviors.  Be a bit stern in the voice, ignore it and let them know clearly that they will not be having any attention from you for such a thing which is actually not really acceptable and things will be just fine.

But then again, it is my personal experience and not an expert suggestion, try this and hope for the best :).

Also, for things like pulling out your/some one's else's hair, just let them know it is not acceptable through your acts.. maybe even pull her/his hair a bit stronger and let the kid feel the pain, to a lesser degree though.  Tell them that it really hurts you, talk to them and they actually understand that.  I find it useful in 2 ways, teaching them concern for another individual and knowing right from wrong.

Try and let me know if it actually worked for you.. Happy Parenting!

Handling a Hyperactive Kid

Things that help

**Regular physical excercise.
**Interaction with people of all age groups and some exclusive time with their age group.
**Cut down intake of food having sugar, chocolate and junk food, especially more so in the evenings or at bedtime, well balanced nutrition eradicates half the problems.
**Strictly do not allow kids to play violent computer games and watch violent, emotionally charged scenes on TV/cinema.
**Giving the kids small responsibilities.
**Making them responsible for a pet if the health/house/budget permits.

The key is to channelize their energies positively and get the best out their ability. Being Active is a Boon not a Bane..!!  Firstly and most importantly, stop considering it a disorder and run around doctors and specialists, try and understand the needs of the children, their insecurities, spend time with them, understand their deepest fears and desires and most importantly be there, not just physically. 


If there is indeed a problem, then and only then after multiple opinions from various doctors, do you put the kid under medication for hyperactivity.


--- Sree

***************

Also when we go out side or any place or even everyday, tell your child what we have planned for the days. So then kids don't get anxiety like whats gonna happen etc.
Tell them where we are going adn what we expect from their so they don't have surprises. Sometimes these kids mind races so fast that they can't process their own thought process and people lable them naughty, active kids.

so instead give them rough idea about each forthcoming tihngs and teach them turtle technique.
In which take a deep breathe and calm down and think slowly.
Initially you have to guide child to help him recognise those moments when they can't focus and end up in trouble. So help you child saying come here for a minute calm down take deep breathes, count 1-10. Now look around where are we?
what are we suppose to do?
What were we told to do?
Are we doing that? yes? then what else to do?
if not then ok, what needs to be done etc.
This helps a lot.
Also if you let your child know already whats gonna be (in mall, what you expect etc.) it gives them guidelines to follow.
YOu can ask your child after she calms down so wehre are we? What did we takled about it at home? So now you know what to do? How can "we" do it.
Ok lets do it.
When we say "WE" child feels supported and less stressed and shows more interest in achiving expected behavior or correct her actions.

Courtesy :Sonal. IP

Points on Child Abuse...

One thing that scares the hell out of me each time I think about... a fine line between being cautious and paranoid...

check it out here...

Childhood Depression??????.....

Isnt it really scary getting to know a lot of things right when you have a little kid to raise... pheww!! nothing to get scare (I tell this myself every day) just another insight, another view point... 
 

Check out...

Less Sleep In Kids

Regarding less sleep, you must understand one thing that sleep patterns are different for different children, some sleep more and some sleep less. I have seen many gifted children, who don’t need more sleep. It’s their nature, their sleep demand is less. But what is important to us is whether your child has any sleep disorder or not. So to differentiate it, we need to see her growth and development. Cos, sleep disorders will cause serious impact on the growth of your child.

Ok, if she is growing otherwise well, and doesn’t seem irritable all the time in the day, probably she is getting enough sleep. I feel it will take some more time for her to get adjusted to sleep pattern, what you expect from her. Till than you need to struggle bit more.....hey, why don’t you try some newer techniques, as you seems to have good interest in child psychology. May be something like making some fancy tent over her bad, or sleeping early, so some soft music while sleeping, it may work. What I feel you should not run for how long she sleep, try to make her relax as much as possible, it will automatically solve the problem.

Chewing Food

Sometimes it’s really difficult make children understand the importance of chewing foods rightly, that to such a small child.

Still try some simple tips, may be that may help:
1. Explain to your child the importance of chewing their food. Let them understand, if they will not chew food enough, they are likely to produce more sounds from rear, may be an embarrassment will make him chew more.
2. Make a game of it for younger children. Have the kids chew their food 15-20 times before swallowing and taking another bite. If he follows that for a meal, his incentives are valid. May be incentives help him to learn the habit.
3. Make sure you all eat one meal together. While eating, bring up the subject of chewing and let your kids see you slowly eating the food before swallowing.
I am sure; gradually they will start eating food better. Here incentives work a lot. If they follow give incentives, if they dont, may be don’t talk him for some time, any sort of mild reproach nothing harsh, so they do understand mom is not happy with what I do.

Fear in Children

All children have fears at some point in their life and it is usually considered to be a normal part of development. These fears are only abnormal if they are persistent or keep the child overly preoccupied with the subject that is feared, so that it interferes with normal activities, if the child cannot be reassured or distracted away from the fear (becoming a phobia), or if it is an irrational fear.
Toddlers normally have simple fears of separation, noises, falling, animals and insects, using the potty, bathing and bedtime. In children of all ages, fears may also increase during times of stress or after some triggering event.
Some children are more fearful of things, even common things, than others and this is usually a function of his type of temperament. Also, children who have parents that are very anxious or fearful, or who tend to overreact to things, often have children who have the same reactions in similar situations.
Some tips on dealing with your child's fears include:
• Respect your child's feelings and fears. It is not helpful to try and ignore the things that he is afraid of.
• Ask him why he is afraid and then talk about it. This can be especially helpful if there was a triggering event.
• Don't be overprotective and let him avoid all of the things that he is afraid of, but you also don't want to try and force your child into doing something he is afraid to do.
• Don't overreact, so that your extra attention reinforces your child's reactions.
• Give your child support as he learns to master his fears. Try to explain reality with your examples.
• Remind him of other things or times in the past that he was afraid of, and for which he is no longer has fears.
• Again, reassure and comfort your child as you help him to face his fears.
In your case, to be that looks normal to me. Just follow these instructions, probably she will be better. Anytime if you feel, things are getting over, no harm in involving a good child psychologist. That will surely help.

Dr. Sanjay Verma @ Indian Parenting

Thumb Sucking

Is thumb sucking common in infants...

Seems to be so. Even Sreya tried it initially.. in fact started out with the whole fist, then each finger and finally the thumb but thankfully nothing more than a couple of days or more than a week.. My brother had this thumb sucking and I still remember my mom being fed up with trying to get him to stop doing that just burnt his finger with a burnt spoon :((((... vaata pettesindi. Did he stop?? Yes, he did but in sleep, with the blanket covered from top to toe, he still used to put the thumb in the mouth until he was more than 12 years old or so. So, I had kind of panicked when Sreya started doing so.

People used to say thumb sucking would lead to bad teeth, elevated teeth (ettu pallu), etc., but his teeth are just fine and poor me had to get braces because there were lots of gaps in the teeth. :). He He, there I digress again.

So, a recent discussion in the forum and the discussion with my doctor lead to the following findings.

Infants, really really young say 2 or 3 months old or so start thumb sucking and that is perfectly fine. Usually, they let go off it when they are rolling over, crawling and walking. It is a cause of concern only if they are continuing it after say about 10 months or so.

My doctor told me that it might be a sign of insecurity or because of too many changes all of a sudden and all that, but my kid had started at an age when she could possible know nothing about her surroundings other than her milk bottle or me. So, the question of insecurity is ruled out and what I did was pull it out immediately and engage her alternatively and thank fully it did work. But the doctor asked me not overdo the pulling out stuff as that might lead to an adamant streak in them.. just try to take it out and if you notice that they are doing it just to be sure their point wins, give it up and try something else.

So, moms dont worry if they start this young, just dont get worked up, but discourage doing that as much as possible. It might just be one of their new games of the week or the fortnight and they will just give it up as they had started. If they still do suck after numerous attempts, don't panic until they are walking or crawling.. I guess maybe once they do that they would automatically give it up in search of new explorations. Check out if it is hunger that is making them do it, see to it that they are adequately fed. If he/she is doing it to seek comfort and missing you from your sudden disappearances or so. Or just doing it to explore his/her body. if none of these, just maybe boredom is what is prompting them to do that right now ;) and they would gradually stop it out of their own volition.

Keep a watch but don't get way too panicked!!

ISP - No To Yes

The essence of the joy of parenting is to become a YES parent. it is one of the simplest processes in the world.

ur child wants to play in rain( he has running nose)
ur child wants to play( he still left with loads of homework)
ur child wants icecream( he didnt eat solid food from 2 days)

what would most of u do?

Many would say " NO". might be some exceptional parents who will say carry on.

Imagine yourself wanting to do a particular thing and when you ask ur spouse/parents n they say NO. how would u feel?

The whole enthusiasm goes down.

similarly if a child says to his father" I will be a businessman when i growup" with lots of excitement n enthusiasm, but the father puts him down by saying" how will u be a a businessman? I have not been able to be one till today, i had been a govt servant for yrs. anyway i want u to be a gud doctor"


how will the child feel?

his whole enthusiasm goes down. whole excitement drains away

This results in a loss of the childs self esteem, which is very important for a childs upbringing. The self esteem of the child should be so high that he should feel like that anything is possible in this world.

Hope u all agree till here

The more u say NO to the child, the more selfesteem drops, the more enthusiasm drops, the more love for life drops, the more love for learning drops and the child goes into a shell. Now the child becomes the slave to the parents, listening to whatever they say and thus becomes a so called good and disciplined child, but with no freedom, no expression and no beauty for life.

So the whole attitude of saying "YES" is very important to inculcate in everyone. but it doesnot happen in onc\e reading. Itis ur experience which u apply on ur child, succeeding and failingin some aspects n then again applying and so on.Thus this requires a few yrs of nurturing. let us now know how one can go through and understand the trmendous power of saying YES.

This can be applied not only on ur child, but also on ur spouse

After joining the class .. what i have seen in the camp was mostly were parents who had kids of 2-6 yrs age. this age the kids are naughty n dont listen to us ..they test our patience levels. most of the parenmts admitted that they were NO parents untill the class started. I mean they refuse or say No to their children forseveral things, several times a day. if u ask ur parents around you, you will be amazed to hear nearly everyone admitting that they negate the child every single day or even single hour that they spend with thm.

eg. varun dont tear those newspapers.
varun dont play in dust,
varun dont touch it....,
so on......

The enlightened parent is one who always say YES to the child and the YES is a 100% YES. Now the question is how to tell YES to the child for everything?

For eg: If a child is sick and he wants an icecream thn how is it possible to say YES?Well it is POSSIBLE. this is what the art of parenting is about?.The challenge here is even after saying YES to the child, how do u DISCIPLINE him/her?How do u make the child to listen to everything you say? we know that the more we say NO to the child,the more adamant the child becomes to do that particular thing. since we know, that the methodhas failed, we may consider trying This YES parenting method.

The journey from NO to YES parent can be fulfilled in 5 steps:

1) Diversion of attention.
2) Allow the child to experience.
3)Postponing the desire.
4) listening to the child attentively and discussing his desires with him creatively.
5) Handling a tantrum.

Now we will see each step in detail

Diversion of attention

Ur child asked for an icecream, you can divert his attention to something else.

Ok varun we will buy icecream, but tell me is that ur friend in that corner vijay..../ did u say about this poster to me yesterday..../ hey u wanted to eat puri , did u ask ur mom for that...... n so on......................... TO BE CONTINUED...

ISP - Magical Words

wondering what is this?

before starting ...both of u partners( wife n husband) sit together n on a sheet of paper write down waht are the magical words used for children. Magical words means, these are the words which will definitely work on children no matter wht ever it is, it will work. for example SURPRISE. whn a child listens this word his/ her eyes sparkle and will listen to u for almost n anything. just brainstorm the words. for my knowledge n the words which we stormed during our session were:
SURPRISE, Lets have some fun,I will tell u a story( story makes the child senses alert), hmm lets have some magic/lets do some magic, do you want something new,Picnic, Idea( i got an idea), lets go and eat the curd from katori( they do always eat but whn u change the tone n say they will get charged), secret,Game, "Dont tell ".


Ihave few more but dont remember, i had written it somewhere.

now u have few words ...now let us see its application.

Secret:

now i will write a discussion between a child n both parents

child- namah
mother
father

situation: the mother is too upset as the child is not having medicine. she just gets irritated whenevr its time for medicine.

namah.its ur medicine time. now i dont want ur alltime stories. come fast n just have it. u are a bad girl if u wont have. want to be gud thn come n have n go ur medicine.
namah screaming to her voice" no mamma . i dont want..its yukkkkkkkkkkk"

father watches all this n calls namah

Namah come here i will tell u a secret.

SECRETTTTTTTTTTTT...oh papa tell me

see mama wants u to have medicine. lets fool her . take ur medicine in ur hand n tell " mom i will not have medicine. let today papa have it. n before mom i will act as if iam having it..but when mama turns back angrily u drink it off n say ...see i did not have medicine. thn mama will get more angry n we will kiss mama together. she will be happy."

OH nice secret papa

n the process repeats n namah really has her medicine n she forgets....

n the process repeats n namah really has her medicine n she forgets ith secret word she forgot n had her medicine.

n to say practically i have seen on my son . when he doesnt drink milk .. i say see mom is drinking secretly ur milk from ur sipper. he just sees for a while n snathes the snipper from me starts drinking.


so when ever u need to have something done..u can tell secrettime now n ............

but it so happens that the child gets bugged up n say ..i dont want ur stupi d secrets.. u tell all these n get the things done.. thn waht will u do?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


so here comes the next magical word

I HAVE AN IDEA

I GOT AN IDEA

sonu i got an idea..do u want to listen?

see u dont want to have curd..ok dont have. what we will do is.. u go n close mamas eyes. i will bring curd from kitchen n keep in ur room . we will go n eat in ur room n mom will not know. when we both eat we will go and tell mom tht we did not eat..n make mom angry...she doesnt know that we ate curd...we will have a gud time making mom angry...hahaha.

This all shuld be in a playway method n talk to the child with lots of love n emotions.

basically its like a game we play with a child . both partners shuld take the active roles.

SURPRISE

chalo sonu today we will make papa surprise. what we will do is we will eat food early . and when dad comes we will tell papa Iam lots hungry...we will eat ..come soon. and when we sit near food we will keep food only for dad n say SURPRISE.


ONE...TWO...THREE


This particular mother had problem with her child. the child always used to pull hair of the girls n girls would scream Anand leave leave.... even teachers used to tell same.

anand felt he gets lots of attention like this n wouldnt leave. so the teacher felt..ok ANand we will play a game. when i say 123 u will leave their hair. n it worked.

this can be implemented even at food, geting him do his homework etc.

GAME

If ur child is not finishing reading...

Anu we will play a game now. bring ur textbook. we both will read. what ever words u knowu tell me the meaning n which u dont know i will tell. n we will give points. whoso ever wins will have a glass of milk. n we will write on our whiteboard .

u will see lots of difference whn we do this act.

Using ANIMAL Names/ new characters( hanuman/ spiderman/ barbie)

this particular child doesnt want to get her hair combed as she feels that it pains a lot
. so the mother said ok which hairstyle do u want..rabbit/ tiger. lion.....so on

so the girl got intrested n started getting her hair combed.

even we can use the Hanuman, spiderman to get the things done from the child.
but to remember ..it shuld involve fun. if u seriously say..i have a secret..they may tell keep ur secret to urself.. its all is how u make them Joy/enthusiastic/ fun/ excitement.
U can use all this words to get them ready to school, making thm get up early, making thm eat food.
PICNIC
u want to take ur child to a marriage but the child is reluctant to come. u can tell see we will go to picinc where u can see..so n so...u will see this food .... or shuld we take our lunch ..u want roti/ dosa....n so on.
when we do keep on trying all this things the intimacy will increase with the child.Be a child when u are with ur child
like chalo we will do masti/ gammat etc.... see ur child will surely listen to U
we will have some drama....
NOW I WANT U TO JOT DOWN WHAT ARE THE ITENARY U NEED TO FINISH BEFORE COMING TO SCHOOL
sleeping,brushing, potty,bath,schooldress,breakfast, combing,school bag, sending thm to the bus
HOw do u manage....like what are the methods/ solutions u apply, manage to get this things done.
1) face him the consequence.....
if ur child misses his/her Bus/ rickshaw/taxi take him /her to school by the public transport where u knowthe rush hours make the child feel its gud to go by my rickshaw/taxi/bus.
next time when they start getting late just announce..ok if u miss bus we are going by RTC bus.
2) make him understand the consequence
see all will get late n get punishment because of u..will it be gud?
3) brushing...
hey today is friday then we shall be using pink / blue colour brush?( keep 7 brushes at home)
4) bathing
which bath we will have? bubble bath/ just bath/ hair wash?
5) making them get up early
U tell to ur child
when u go to sleep birds too sleep early. but nobody wakes them up? so why shuld i wake u up?
hmm papa ok from tomorrow u tell me see birds woke up n are going i will wake up.
its different thing that if they say papa let it go n let me sleep

Courtesy: Rekha Satish

ISP - Orange Juice Of Your Child

MAKING ORANGE JUICE OF THE CHILD

before i go into the topic.....i have a small homework for the parents...(wife n husband)

both take a white paper...n complete the statement...as far as ur spouse goes

I feel very happy n loved when.........

if its u who is writing

I feel very happy n loved when he........

if its ur husband

I feel very happy n loved when she.........

be truthful n straighforward
dont hold any simple things..for eg whn he.caress my hair. he cooks, wh he hugs, he takes to a movie,whn he cleans the house, whn he gifts, go to sea beach/ surfing romantic things,holding hands without spking much..ila the list goes on..write how many u/he can

there are some children who are open..highly energetic...n some closed..low energetic n some with highself esteem n some with low esteem. whn the children have high self esteem their energy levels are more..thy become automatically lovable..n whn they have low self esteem they become irritated at home as well as outside

wht is happening in their case?

there are five areas/ different ways to express love....if u understand which is ur primary love language u/ spouse have..thn it will be easy to give it to ur children

1) quality time(physically n mentally present)..eg iam talking to u..u are listening totally involved..n suddenly ur phone rings..u tend to hear on phone as well asa me...so are u giving quality time? are we spending the same way with ur child/ spouse? are we spending 100% with child or spouse?
2) words of appreciation eg.i love the way u cook, u are looking ver nice, whn i back home n see u ..i feel happy, appreciate whn u really had hard day n ur husband appreciate u( u really maintained the party well)
3)Recieving/giving gifts..eg. surprise gifts..even asmall rose.. a card... apen
4)Acts of service(errands)..eg. if he helps in cooking, cleaning the house, washing the car,
5) physical touch....like u like physically to be close/near..it can be from holding hands..lying on the lap/hug.......to sex

these are the 5 areas of love expression..... now wht ever u had written in the paper...exchange the papers.....now mark against it which love expression was it

for eg.
whn he caress me---Physical touch(P)
whn he cooks food on weekend---acts of service(A)
whn he gives me a surprise on normal days(R)
whn he n i go for along walk--- quality time(Q)
whn he says u are beautiful...words of appreciation(W)

so In simple n Short Mark Q/W/R/A/P

DONT SHOW WHT U ARE WRITTING TILL U BOTH FINISH

once u mark u will come to know wht love lang he has/she has..n thn count which one is more..like Q is more or W is more , A is more.....
this helps u to know wht is is his/ur Primary lang.....suppose out of 50 points u wrote..25 is W, 10 is A, 5 is P..so on..thn it means the primary love lang is Quality time

inside every child there is an emotional parent to be filled..tht emotional part has to filled with love.... but unfortunately wht happens is u are speaking in english n iam speaking in chinese..do u understand..NOOOOOOOOOOO.... so these love languages..help u to find out wht is ur n ur husband primary lang

this may change over a period of time...suppose whn u are maried Physical touch would be the primary love lang..th n later it would have become "W"..so if u do this execrcise u will find out wht lang u or he is in....once u understand..apply it conciously as u know wht he /she is expecting...this brings more happiness n understanding between both of u...once u know start applying this for one week n u will find lots of change

like suppose his primary lang is "A' n urs is "Q"..u have a clash..u want quality time n his is acts of service...so insted u spending quality time try giving him acts of service..n he giving u Quality time.....so dicover amongst ur selves...n start expressing u will change ur married life into much more beautiful way thn wht it is now

Wht is the best gift u can give to ur child?(write down in 3 mins)
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eg...silence, independence, love, confidence, quality time, happiness, happy parents, knowledge,unconditional love, child like, seva,enthusiasm, communication, selfesteem,education, values.....the list goes on isnt it?

if u want to conclude one thing which one would u give.....?
u can give UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.......but wht does it mean?

no expectations, no setting standards, be afriend, being child like.......

whn we say unconditional love between mother n father..wht does it mean?(child is seeing wht his/her mother n father is)
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ideal like partner,QWARP

it takes a while for u to develop tht unconditional love with each other..so wht are u going to do till thn ......attempt to communicate, TALK TALK TALK..dont expect other to talk......
elders do all this....but children cannot express in words....
so whn we say express the love to child how do u express....how?

a small HUg..child is happy..but child is not a very buubly child...so how do we have a bubbly child?

this is where our topic of making orange juice of ur child...u would be doing this..some wouldnt..but once u know start playing this game with ur child everyday in the night

papa n mommy hugging with child in between....child in centre n parents on both side..n before sleeping tell him/hger tht we are making orange juice of u/or let us make orange juice of daddy/ orange jiuce of mummy.......so sueeze the person in centre.....u will have alot of laughter, happiness,fun....the child feels happy..funfilled, family security. love of parents

this u can call as sandwich game..tickling...

try to play this game every day...( the child must see mummy n daddy hugging..if not they will start withdrawing)
u will find energy switching in ur child.

u will see the child very happy n lively....make sure u are also child like whn u play.....

like if ur child is not brushing in the night..u can always use this game..ok iam brushing now n we will make sandwich of u...this will alert thm n thy look forward for this game..u can play this in the mornings..the child will feel a happy family...now u can spend some quality time playing instead of watching telvision..or doing some other thgings...like u toppling on each other...hugging..laughing....u need not talk anythingbeyond except play.......doing this put ur child to sleep for 10 mins..the child gets up next day with full energy.....U can see the result on SPOT

Courtesy: Rekha Satish

ISP - Self Esteem

SELF ESTEEM OF UR CHILD

we are talking about enhancing selfesteem of the child..before tht
wht do u understand by self esteem?

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self respect.....confidence...accepting urself.......taking pride in wht ever u do.......loving ur own self......being secure within oneself.......complete participation...

to say a fact..90% indians suffer from low selfesteem..whn u have such low selfesteem..wht are u transfering to ur child?.......

children grow n carry on same thing..right..so are thy building selfesteem?

how is it formed..or whn does it start building?

it is formed right from the birth....its the foundation...

just now analyse whts the reason for u having low selfesteem?

if u analyse u will find tht either people around u..give comments..u get affected/not affected or other factors..school/home/society/other environment..u have grown n started.. telling internal dialogues.

the foundation of developing self esteem is a combination of
1) who u are..
2) how u feel abt urself..
3) wht do u think abt ur future potential

how do we express ourselves..through the navarasas isn't...so how were the navarasas come out in ur child..how did u attend..this starts building the selfesteem...

As parents u are the most important people in ur babys world..u provide him with his first defination of himself..u tell him through ur every word, gesture n actions just how important he is n how is he percieved in the outside world

wht is the vision u had for urself..write only in five lines..wht ever u had?( in 4 mins

now write wht is the vision u have for ur child?( 5 mins..in five lines)
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for eg..i have written for my baby..tht he shuld be enthusiastic,strong, honest, lovable,wise,peaceful,visionary, n happy( this is wht i spoke in the first posts abut VISION)
this vison shuld be very clear for u to develop self esteem in ur child

now how do we build or break the self esteem in our child? list thm out separately in two different columns

how do we break?

saying NO....saying Don't.......comparing with others.....do's n dont's..not being honest..giving negative criticism..labelling the child(u are lazy)...telling lies......u cant do this, its difficult.....telling him at situations..u are old/young( setting standards)....
contradictions(eg.eat slow..n sometimes eat fast)..shouting.....hiding things( like habits..like smoking..drinking etc)..bribing(selfishness comes out....they dont take risk which is inborn talent...thy will do whn thy know thy they will achieve the bribe)...fear( if u dont do this u instill fear..tht if u wont eat lion will come....etc)

wht do u do whn u are irritated because of child?

u tell thm MUmmy is irritated..but dont blame thm..u express ur feelings but dont blame thm..so child gets signalled tht if i do this mom gets irritated..n thn he will not be made scape goat...

how do we build?
encouraging/inspiring....letting thm experience....allowing thm to perform( again we bring all the break points here..we compare.tell thm no..do like this etc.....see he did so well)...giving thm total trust......let thm fall, thy will learn

as said in earlier posts the child shuld be developed physically, emotionally, spiriytually, mentaly n socially...so how do we develop their self seteem in all these

Physical----sports, dance, exercise(let thm do as thy like..no dos n donts..let thm fail..thy will feel responsible, dont compare..boost their energies)

mentally-----chess, reading( read to thnm casually..thy will catch up), maths( every where u can develop..market...park..pick up pebbles..substraction ..additions etc easily taught), encyclopedia, computer, skills

socially---- natural discipline

emotionally--dram, music, art( whn ever ur child is disturbed ask him to draw it up..it lightens his heart/ make a white board n write grt news/something grt/spl today on it..whn ur child comes home ask him to write wht was something spl he did today..in this way positive qualites are developed..n thn whn day is over transfer it to some book n in aweek read all of thm ..it will feel him gud..even at home if he did gud thing write it..ask him to write himself..his conciousness will be aroused)

spiritually---teach thm to be responsible( wht does responsible mean....?stop the buck..stop blaming people for ur life or for ur child life including the school..once u stop balming ur child starts improving..u will allievate ur child from here whn u stop blaming)

Courtesy: Rekha Satish

ISP - Recommended Music

Music recommended are as follows

category 1

-- sacred chants of shiva
-- chants of india

Category 2(devotional vocal)

--asha prahaar(music for the eight prahars)
--maa( jagjit singh) just wonderful idi naaku aithe baaga navvhesindi
-- meera soor kabeera(latha hridayanath mangeshkar)
-- chala vaahi des( meera bhajans, lata n hridayanath mangeshkar)

Category 3

-- vata(relaxation music for morning , evening- deepak chopra)
-- L.subramaniam(conversations -A fusion album with Stepehem grapheti)
-- Ganapati satchinanda( music for healing n meditation)
-- nothing but wind( illayaraja n Pt. Hari pradsad chaurasia)

Category 4(wester classical)

--mozart(greatest hits)
-- beethoven (greatest hits)
-- tchaikovsky(ballet music)

Category 5 (indian classical vocal)

-- Ustad bade ghulam ali khan
-- pt. bhimsen joshi
-- sanjeev abhayankar
--pt. jasraj
--pt. mani prasdaji

Category 6(indian classical instrumental)

-- morning dew(pt. hari prasad chaurasia- flute)
-- live at the carnegie hall( pt ravi shankar -sitar)
--ustad sultan khan(sarangi)
--classical encounters (pt. shiv kumar sharma-santoor)

play the music as if u are in watching a movie

best time for classical is morning n night n western in the evening n afternoon

Courtesy: Rekha Satish

ISP - Talking In Sleep

TALKING IN SLEEP
whn the child retires to sleep...he first enters into a state of alpha sleep...here the child is just free from all thoughts.this is the best time to talk to ur child to get benifits.....

after the child goes to sleep, for the first 10 mins, u talk to the child in a positive present tense...this can be used in different ways which would benifit ur child

1) Any habits which u would like to to free ur child from like bed-wetting,thumb sucking or any behavioural problems can be talked about in the sleep in a positive present tense

2) YOu can also give the vision n the sanskara's in sleep. all the values u want ur child to imbibe shuld be spoken in the sleep.it will be inculcated for the life time

3) You can make your child listen to music in the sleep. the highest form of music is the indian classical vocal. any one particular raga should be played for 30 days. thn change to another raga. apart from this any info can be given, be it maths, tables, shlokas,mantras etc(will give u alist of music which can be played to the child)

INTENSE TALKING IN THE SLEEP

this is a very effective method. list down all the problems u think your child has. take one problem at atime for eg. if he has cough thn u can say

--- you are strong and healthy
--- you are breathing freely
--- your chest and lungs are totally clear

Repeat this for 50-60 times WITH FEELINGS, for about 15mins after the child has gone to sleep.
here intense focus is given on tht particular area. it works like a laser beam which is used to cut the diamonds. continue for few days till u are saTisfied with the degree of change. you can thn focus on another problem


if problem of thumb sucking
--- you are strong and healthy
--- you will listen to my words
--- you will keep ur hands on ur side n sleep
--- your teeth are very gud


so on............ always positive present tense sentences...no room for negativity

further any doubts adagandi

idi nenu practical ga chusanu work avvadam.....

Courtesy: Rekha Satish

ISP - Say 'N' Do

we spoke abt VISION..now lets see abt SAY n DO

it has got 3 satges
1) running commentary------------ for new Born to 1 yr
2) Allowing ur child to experience---------1 yr to 4yrs
3) answering WHY-------------from 4yrs to 7yrs

RUNNING COMMENTARY: the name itself suggests tht u need to give commentary(continuously Talk).from the fourth month of pregnacy the mother can apply this till the child is of 1 yr of age.
tell everything to ur child in detail.....by doing this we are putting more info in right brain(brain gurinchi malli cheptaa) till 6yrs wht we keep in brain it is stored n later the left brain activates n uses the info stored in right brain.
also u develop bonding b/w the child n parents. n by storing the info in right brain ur are stimuating him n exercising his/her brain.tell him everything just like u hear the cricket commentary..mottam cheopandi..everything in detail....the child will not feel ignored...u will draw their attention n mentally prepare thm by telling everything..N be HONEST wht ever u tell......manam ippudu edi chepithe adi ala vallaki register ayyipothundi.so tell thm truth. thy are now embodiments of truth..help thm in staying this for ever..

ila enduku chepthunna running commentary ivvamani.......tell everything even ur financial conditions..intlo godavalu etc.....tell thm everything..because we ourselves had undergone this..eg some time whn theres some discussion whn we tell something mana vallu emantaaru..nuvvu chinnadanivi salaha icche antadanivi ayyava ani..ela feel ayamu manamu...or sometimes thy would have said peddadanivi idi kuda neeku teliyada ani...intaki manam peddavallama or chinnavallama...manake doubt vacchina rojulu vunnayi ..avuna......so ila running commentary vala the child too knows whts happening in the house..as hes is also involved..he will also adjust acordingly.....
suppose manam ivi evi cheppamu ur child grows turns 10yrs. thn he comes oneday n tells i need 5000, we are going for outing ,,n iam in for it ,,i need to pay in the evening......n already u have some financial crisis from past 6 months n sudenga ila mee child adigithe meeru emantaaru...neeku illu gurinchi emi patatdu..vellodu intlo paristhutulu telusaa n so on.......................didu ever tell ur child all this......why will he try to understand all this if u tell today..we always ignore the child.....like suppose meeru bayatiki velthunnaru..do u say to the child..nenu bayatiki velthuna ivi kondaaniki/dinnerki/something else...naaku intha time paduthundi..so nenu max ga 2 hrs or 2 1/2 hrs lo vastaanu....entamandi cheppi veltaaru to their kids i mean 0-3 yrs lopu valalki....cheppakunda veltaamu as he will cling to u once the child knows u are leaving him n going..but if u tell..u r stimulating him...n preparing him....n meku khali time lo start telling him abt ur work n how its necesary to go to office n how it helps u..n all..the child will understand

tell everything..while having bath..every minute detail like picking the tumbler, filling
filling with water..etc shuld be spoken..else bhojanam chesetappudu parents digestive system of the child gurinchi..mandulu icchetappudu..enduku isthunnamu avi vesukovadam valla em avuthundi anni detailed ga cheppali..by doing this the child learns constantly..thy will not get disintrested

pillalu bore avvaru.....as they are always enthusiastic to learn..deeniki oka manchi eg cheppindi aavida

manaki manchi aakali vesthundi...manaki ishtamainavi ready ga vunnayi..suddenly evaro vacchi ila bajjariki velli vaddamu some intresting vi vunnayi antaaru..wht will u do ..eat or go with thm..the answer would be eat first n thn go

but
pillalu ki aakali vesthunnapudu..annam n oka kotta toy pettaru anukondi..vaadu annam kante toy ni pattukuntaadu...it means he wants to learn wht it is..n all..so pillalu will never get bored.

2) learning from experience

this goes for 1-4 yrs

ikakda child wants to learn different things..eg. hot n cold..sweet n sour etc.
this all shuld take palce in presence of elders.suppose child wants to touch something hot..mundu mother shuld touch n say with action hot ani(ikkada action very imp) thn allow the child to feel it. best place kitchen to explore for child..anni tastes..like meeru vegies cut chesthunnaranukondi...child ki kuda oka plastic kati ivvandi..ila ivvadam valla vaadu cut chestaadhu... u are trying to fine tune ur child motor skills..ila dat to day activities lo involve cheyyadam valla thy will remeber the experiences..n learning process enhance avuthundi.

vallu edi chestamanna vaddu or NO ani cheppavaddu..suppose meeru ironing chesthunnaru...ur child wants to do..so first iron chesina batta meeda cheyyi pettinchandi..vedi ga tagulthundi adi..next just mee hand iron box deggariki teesukoni velli with action cheppandi aavedi sega ela vuntundo..let the child know everything...everything.....by doing all these we are developing his 5 senses..at the same time developing the childs confidence.if we wont allow it leads to fear

we knowingly or unknowingly impose fear in child...alochinchandi elaano....pillalu annam tinakapothe em chestaam ...adgo kaki icchesthunna ..nenu tinestaanu..etc etc ..avunna..inka further vinaka[pothe adigo akkada aa room lo deyyam /rakshasi vundi vachi ninnu mingesthundi ani...(but nijamga aa gadi lo vundaa.....)a roju bhayam petti tinipinchechestaaru...mee pani ayyipoyindi but next day..meeru antaaru pada velli aa gadi lo velli light veddam...or bomma tecchukundamu ani...child ki oka image padipoyindi aa gadi lo buchi vundi ani inka ala fear anaedi install ayipothundi.

if the child falls let him fall....he will learn n develop confidence

never install fear in thm..oka eg cheptaanu.....manam edi cheptaamo ade chestaaru pillalu

suppose mee intiki evaro vaccharu(meeku telisina valle le)...meeru water ivvadaniki lopaliki veltaaru..

ur child comes n tell nenu istanu water n already u filled water in glass tumblers....meeremantaru vaddu nuvvu padestavu ani(earlier u never allowed ur child to do this)vaadu gattiga edustadu nenu istanu ani n mee guest vinnaru..so out of courtesy u say sare teesukoni vellu ani..but u will give 100 directions...jagrattaga teesukonivellu ila pattuko ala pattuko...padestavu ala vellu ila vellu n all..right..so ur child takes it n suddenly remembers nuvu padestavu ani meeru anindi..so out of fear padestaadu vadu..meeremantaaru cheppana nuvvu padestavu.....etcneeku oka pani kuda raadu n all..isisnt it

but vadu chesindi kuda meeru cheppinde kada ..meeru padestavu ani annaru vadu kuda meeru cheppinde chesaadu....so try to develop his confidence...he may fail once but u be there to support his morale..ila cheyyadam valla natural discipline vasthundi

how many of u like ur child to be disciplined in front of everyone.....i hope andaru yes antaru..u want thm to be disciplined naturally or just mee kallu chuso ledo meeru tiditheno disciplined ga vundaala.....

it all depends how u mold the clay..once the clay is heated manam entha anukunna daani vere shape ivvalemu...

this all u can give right whn the child is young n learning...n he develops this from experience..let him be free to learn

ikkada maku oka rhyme mana telugu di chepparu with action..kondaru chesaru with action kondaru cheyyaledhu..n some tried to do.....thn she said why arent u doing with action ani.....the same the child too experiences..whn someone comes to ur house n u ask ur child to sing or tell rhymes...n the child doesnt even move his /her lips...meeremantaru bad boy/girl neeku emi raavantaru n all isint it...but did u understand the child feelings...ade once the guests go ur child will start telling u rhymes..meeru antaru po ippudu naakenduku..apuudu cheppaledhuga ani...

manam chesthe ne kada pillalu mana deggaranunchi nerchukunedi....whn young we would have done..like being free but now we stop all tht..

pillalu kuda ade nerchukuntaru...its on us to develop their confidence n to learn tht give thm their space n time..dont force thm.



sare next part of SAY n DO

3)whn the child asks WHY

for 4- above children

ikkada child annitiki reason telusukovaalanukuntaadu..anduke ee WHY..ilaantappudu parents answers ivvakudadhu..but allow him to inquire n find out themselves.deeni valla right brain activate avuthundi..creavity stimulate ayyin brain grow avuthundi.

okavela meeku answer teliyadanukondi..tell the child u will find out n let thm know.and ask thm their view..vallu cheppinaaka say 'YES',Ok..this is wht i feel ani..ila cheyyadam valla left brain stimulate avuthundi..reasoning develop avuthundi


left brain activate avavdam valla the child asks WHY

nevr anser the child ques give room for their creativity

ask thm why it happens like this/ wht happened? etc..once we answer we are killing their imagination..chinna pillala creativity ki antham vundadhu...this is time their brain starts loigical reasoning...u would have observed whn u give a toy to the child he first touches it, tries to feel it, thn tries to open it, throws down.........before he does something to tht broken toy wht do we do..vadini titti..a bommani permanent ga ataka meeda cherustaaru..but vaadiki aa virigina daantlo nunchi vachina sabdam lo inko creativity vuntundi...adi enta costly bpomma ayina sare bomma paristhiti anthe......vademi adagaledhu naaku intha costly bommakonivvu ani...for child oka 10/- or 1000 rs/- bomma same vadiki kavalsinda alla feel the toy n see wht more it is made of....
child creativity enthaga vuntundi ante..once a child was going on drive with his parents..suddenly he sees lots of lighting (actually adi oka hotel)in some distance..he asks his mother wht it is ani... so mom said u tell me wht u are thinking ani...vadu em cheppado telusaaa......i think its a big cale with som many candles..may be oka peddauncle birtyhday emo ani...isint just amazing to think like tht..the same child

the same child after 8 yrs became so shy n all his creativity has gone..can u guess what could be the reason................

HE STARTED GOING TO SCHOOL(ante school ki velladam tappa ani anukuntunnara..not at alll)

whts happening in the school...........no room for creativity..just spoon feeding......adi alavatu ayyi manam why ani adiginappudu the child becomes silent..he becomes tuned to listen whtever we say......ala ani school ni tappu pattatledhu......wht iam telling is u can create such environm,ent in ur home giving constant support to the child
even if the child is wrong u just tell "yes ur right..but wht i feel is...................." never correct him u are killing the creativity(in short the right brain of the child) ala cheppi thn ask now wht do u think abt wht i told u ani adagandi...he will start analysing...helping him to activate his left brain.


one more thing which i forgot to tell in 1 n 2nd part of Say n do is

spk to child in the same level..i mean height.....mormal ga whn child starts walking manam cheyyi pattukoni maatladuthu veltaamu right...dont do tht......the child wants to see ur face whn u spk..so he asks u to lift him up......n u complain veedu nannu vadaladu......eppudu ettukone vundaali ani...... even whn child is 1 yr also...spk to him at the same level...kneel down in front of thechild n spk...he will be able to see ur expressions...

Courtesy: Rekha Satish

ISP - Writing a Vision

Step 1
take a photograph of ur child or the type of baby u want for expecting mothers

step2
select 10-12 points from the list of values CHECKED..which u feel are highest priorities for both of u( now checked ani enduku annante..manam value n idol raastamu kada

eg ..you are strong like HANUMAN

ikkada strong is value n Hanuman is idol.....idol eppudu tappu vundakudadhu..as it gives direction..hitler strong kaada..osama bin laden strong kaada....so writing the correct idol is very imp....suppose visionary like narayan murthy anavacchu.....tomorrow the child may get chance to see him...n all..a live example before him)

Step 3
write down these ponts in letter sizeof 2-3 inch n decorate beautifully using ur creativity
Step 4
if u have more children

write separate vision...n read to thm daily....n preg valu read by keeping ur hand on the stomach... read twice..

once u are.........like.......
ayyinaaka..u can take individual A4/A3 paper write the values replacing U with I

eg I am.......like........
u can make a book binded n read it to thm daily...below 2-3 yrs vallaki

ela ante write value first thn second page lo bomma related, malli next page lo next value..next page lo bomma related ga..(may be u can keep the idol photyo or ur child exhibiting tht quality)..ala chesi oka book la cheyyandi..roju annam pettetappudu u show it..

next once above 3 yrs replace I with WE

eg We are ........ like ..............

ila cheyyadam vall u are idening the scope from u to we ..self to all ani.....like nenu...manam..anadaramu ane feeling ivvali

ammo ivvala chaala type chesaanu.....repu malli say n do cheptaanu...

ammayilu if u have doubts cheppandi..i will ask them n answer u...i was really joyed by attending this program...

nenu naa vision raayadam ayyindi..sunday nenu ameki chupinchi..photo pedataanu..naa account lo..so tht u alla can have idea how to do...but now start writing values n respective idols.....

Courtesy: Rekha Satish

ISP - First Class

ISP first class details

First ask urselves --wht do u want ur child to be?

for eg.---

if u say--doctor ( it means 'U' had decided tht the child should be a doctor)
if u say-- whtever he want provided he is a gud human

in first case u have curbed the freedom of child by deciding wht he shuld become..in second case u are not clear abt the defination of gud human.....allowing ur child to decide whtever he wants is a wonderful thought, but u have to be a guiding force in the childs life.....wht ever it is both answers are lop-sided in their own way

the key is EXPOSURE....the child experiences all kinda of activities..left n right brain oriented activities(academics,music,sports,art,etc). the second n most important is imparting of values n sanskaras...for this u need to follow so tht he follows u.

wht do u want ur child to be?..shuld be very clearly defined in ur own mind..it shuld be written black n white, in short sentences(positive present tense)along with the picture of ur child (integral part of ISP)..this is called " VISION" for ur child.the same short sentences can be spoken to the child in sleep n thus reinforced.

for eg(who have new born children-3yrs)
u can start like this..

DEAR.....(ur baby name)
U are silent like buddha
u are strong like hanuman
u are clever as birbal


write like this 30 visions

here u are giving freedom to select whtever the child would like to be..we are not conditioning or limiting the child by setting a boundary.

take a photograph of ur child ..write down the vision in 2-3 inches of letter sixe n decorate it.

for pregnant ones..do write the same...keep ur hand on the stomach n read loudly the visiond daily for 3-4 times..and the same father also shuld do...

now why is this vision important.....

vision is for everyone n longterm.....
suppose nenu meku oka seed icchanu..ela describe chestaaru.

smooth/rough/brown color, apple/guava/....seed, oval/round/....,pointed.elongate,so on avunaa.......but can u vision this tree...giving n number of trees....
thts why we need to write vision to ur child.....oka example cheptaanu

suppose mee child tells u nenu richshaw pull chestaanu peddayyaka ni...meeremantaaru.....just think.......

ledhu nuvvu peddayyaka doctor avvali, engineer..so on cheptaaru..n also tellu baaga chadavakapothe rickshwa pull chestaru ani..avunaa]

but can u imagine one mother told sare ra u pull the rickshaw ani..do u know how grt the mother is to tell..enti surprise naa grt anannu ani....emanindo telusaa a mother...she said tappakundaa nuvvu pull chedduvu....aa srikrishnudu anatai vaade radhasarathi ga vundi direstion chupinchadu lokaniki..nuvvu kuda allage chupistaavu direstion ani......she is none but swamy vivekananda mother..she had a vision like tht..n child became tht....

jijabai...concieve ayinappudu cheppedi...moghuls antam cheyyali ani...wht did shivaji maharaj do?

concieve ayyina vallaki inka manchi chance ..ippudu..u are called as abhimanyu group..manam edi chepithe vallu ala absorb chestaaru(baby).....u can give a very good vision....

ila enduku chepthunnanu....manaki evaryna cheppara ivvani..ippudu manm kottga cheyyataaniki anukovacchu......manam sarriga peragaledaa..manam manchivallam kaada..manakivalues leva.....right ee doubt vundavacchu..

but earlier we had joint families....ippudu nuclear families....andaru vundatam valla we imbibe values easily....n ippudu only mom n dad...who dont have much time..wht will the child imbibe..manaki teliyadhu mana parents manaki kuda vision icchevaaru...ila kadanikondi..but guthundaa..padukovataaniki lali paatalu padevaaru...eg hindi lodi..chanda he thu..suraj he thu..ani.

wht is tht arent we giving him vision tht u are like sun.... . moon ani..enno stories cheppevaru..we used to imbibe values

how many of u sing those lullabies to ur child.....mana poorvam aa lullabies lo enno values vunnayi(to say naaku okati kuda raadu..evarykaina manchi site vunte cheppandi ..kacchitamga nerchukuntaanu).....vachina entamandi paadutaaru.....isint it...

normal ga oka infant edisthe em chestaaru meeru..just think before proceeding further...

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emantaamu enduku edusthunnavi bujji edavaku..emindi kanna..edavaku edavaku..n all
isint it...wht u want the child to do adi cheppara....edavaku..vaadiki vinipinchindi enti..edavaku.......before explaining this......close ur eyes n try to imagine wht i said under....
DONT SEE BLUE COLOUR...

entamandi blue chsaaru......most of u would kada.... mari meeru baby ki edavaku ani cheppinappudu vaademi chestaadu..edustaadu....like wise manam pillaliki adicheyyadu..adicheyyadu antaamu kada..thy will try to do tht ONLY.......manam cheppinde kada vallu chesedi(this part i will tell whn i talk about SAY n Do)

so manam etuvanti visiuon istaamo vallu ala manifest avutaaru...we are just giving him direction to go....at the same time we are not limitting him

Courtesy: Rekha Satish